Mr. Fluser says he doesn’t like me writing in my diary while I’m supposed to be working. He’s the one who said I had to be here anyway and really I would be at home watching tv if we had it anymore. He said if everyone has a job and felt like contributing then it would help and we wouldn’t give up. What I don’t understand is his wife is the one not really doing anything anyways and just sits around in their big ol house with the skylights reading her fucking books all day and acting crazy. I fell bad for her sometimes but then I think about Mr. Fluser always trying to tell me what to do and I don’t so much. He thinks since I’m seventeen and it’s just me and Sally he can tell me what to do. I’m going to steal his gun.
All I do is count these granola bars all day and organize everything and I think we should be able to leave the 10 lanes. Flus says it would be so dangerous and some people tried and said they were coming back and never came back. Like my brothers. When I asked him about the big storm and what if another one comes bc the weather’s been weird he ignored me. Fucking ignored me, like a kid. I’m going to get him back. Sally just sits here and watching me. I got her all the dolls and stuff from the empty houses down the street but she only plays with them sometimes and when she does its really sad to watch. She doesn’t smile and takes the games very seriously and I try to make her laugh sometimes. When she does it is beautiful and that makes me happy when we sleep at night together under the blankets and look through the upstairs window at the stars and listen to the quiet quiet streets.
I wonder if the virus did something to her brain. Like it did to Mrs. Fluser’s. Maybe. Or maybe Mrs. Douchebag just couldn’t handle the pressure. She seems ok, like when I give her the extra granola or the food I found in the cellar or the stuff I stole from Phil’s car. She doesn’t throw up or anything and when she goes back to playing house or tea or changing the baby she doesn’t jerk or tweak or anything. One time I did walk in on her in Jeremy’s room though. She was under the bed with all the teacups arranged around the perimeter of bed and the big floppy bunny dog thing was sitting on top of it. The covers were all tucked in and neat and it was dead in the center, staring at me when I walked in, propped up. I didn’t know she was under the bed yet and I saw the teacups and stuff so I bent over and started picking them up and her hand jerked out from under and grabbed my wrist. I was so scared. Then I realized it was her and kneeled down to look under there and she was just lying there on her back staring up at the underside of the mattress. I was like “Sally, Sally” but when she finally turned her head to look at me she was blank. I said hey you wanna eat some more food i got a lot and she nodded. We ate on the roof that night and watched the other houses.
I keep stealing candles. I know we’re not supposed to but I think everybody’s doing it. There are so many houses and we haven’t gotten to them all yet. Things finally calmed down and now “We got work to do guys” Mr Fluser Johnson and Williamson said. Who put them in charge. I know I sound like a kid when I say that but seriously, no one put them in charge. I have to figure out a way to get a gun without seeming like the one and to get out of here and also neutralize Phil. It will happen.